Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Old WoMan Yeller

I'm not sure when it happened. Perhaps it was when my oldest son started hiding my keys. Or when I became outnumbered by children? Maybe it was when my house became a dumping ground for cheerios, toys, and little matchbox cars that are oh so fun to slip on with an infant in your arms. Le sigh.

I may not be able to pinpoint when exactly it happened, but at some point it did.

I became a yeller.

Yell as I might, yell as I can. I yell, I yell a lot. I never mean to, their sweet little faces looking at me with shocked faces. How can I just yell at them like that? Well apparently, its become a pattern. I never like it anymore than they do.  What do I do?

Everyday I vow to yell less, and/or to not yell at all but by golly i still end up yelling at least once everyday. After alot of research I found an article about a reformed yeller. I thought, "wow, I want to be a reformed yeller. Sign me up!"  So I read on. The article stated it was quite simple, whenever I wanted to yell, I whispered instead.

Here is what the article said in a nutshell. Kids don't respond to yelling. They shut down, they get scared, they don't even hear what your saying. So you may have just yelled the most insightful advice they will hear that day but none of it reached them. Yelling  also hurts their feelings, invalidates your standing with them, and ruins relationships that could take a long time to build back up. Wow, don't I feel just terrible now? Yes. yes I do.

Here is the step by step on what to do instead of being Old Yeller.
When you feel your blood a boiling, and your mouth opens to holler out instead do this :
Get down on child's level and ask for their eyes.
Whisper to them, whatever you need to say.
Tell them what they didn't do, and what they need to do.
Then end the conversation with a hug.

Kids will be more able to understand and listen to what your saying when they don't feel scared or threatened. This response to your child is gentler, and will restore your relationship with them making you too, a reformed yeller.

So I'm still working on this, I still slip and I'm sure you will too, but isn't it worth it? Look at those faces, they are so worth it.
01 02 03
04 Pin It 05 06
07 08 17 18


Post a Comment