Sunday, January 8, 2012

A Tale from the Worse Mother in the World

I recently came across an article one of my homeschooling mom friends posted on her wall. It was out of homeschooling magazine and it was called "The Bitter Homeschooler". I read it and laughed so incredibly hard. Ive been in situations where poeples hurtful comments had made me want to respond in snarky ways and this lady answered all the questions the snarkiest. Ofcourse following the homeschooler code we usually try to gently "educate" those people who ask or say rude things about are children but its nice to get a laugh like that every now and then, becuase lets face it homeschoolers, we have ALL been judged  for our decision. So I posted this article on my wall, for my homeschooling friends to read, and get a little laugh from, but instead to my horror it just pulled more naysaysers and assumers out of the wood work who, instead of actually reading the article, must have stopped at "The Bitter Homeschooler" and decided they would let me know what they thought of my deciding to homeschool my children.
An interesting assesment was that I am, in her words, "selfish" for homeschooling my children. Hmm. Ive been called every name in the book from relatives and strangers but "selfish"? That is a new one. Lets review......6 years ago in my womb grew my first little blessing. I was excited, the rest of my family? not so much. Thats okay though. My family new how that I wasnt planning on circumsizing, vaccinating or sending my children to public school all without even asking me! You must say they are all very intuned with me? Actually no. They assumptions of why I was doing this was becuase I trusted God over government and chose a healthy way of living (not seeing doctors unless neccesary). My one relative even tore into me saying that I had best take my child to the doctor if they were sick and not letting them die becuase of my "beliefs". WOW! So you can see that my life as a mother was already riddled with assumptions, alienation and woes, becuase not one person actually asked me WHY! After Talon turned two and he was so incredibly smart and already learning alot at home through play I was in love with the idea of homeschooling him. I coudnt imagine sending him to someone else to learn all these things, andw hy should I if I can do just as good of a job at home? But could I? I then spent years, YEARS reading all that I could about homeschooling. I was on my own with this. I had noone to ask, so I turned to those who homeschooled and had experiences and then put them into books. They were my support team. I think the librarians were on my side about the homeschooling, they would make comments like "You are going to do great with him" and "I think you will know everything about homeschooling before you even start" After I took out the second to the last book and ordered another one from them. By this point Talon was in pre K, at home ofcourse, and he was already learning phonics, numbers, and some small addition. I decided after all I read that it will be hard, but that it would be worth it in the long run. Plus he enjoyed it, and learning should always be fun, never  a chore. Once Talon was really into it, the comments from relatives continued. One even said the only reason I homeschool is becuase I chose not to vaccinate. HAH! Alot of children are not vaccinated and are in public school, its called signed waivers. EVery child deserves to go to school, even the ones whose religion does not allow them to get injected with different virus's every month. Now that Talon is in first grade, I really know what it takes to be my childrens teacher, I have to go through the extensive lists of different curriculums before the begning of each school year that takes about two months, order the expensive cashe of learning tools, and then at the begining of each week write out a lesson plan for both children, this can take up to three hours. Sometimes I have to run to the library or copy center to copy out worksheets from a book so the book can be reused later. Busy Sunday. During Monday through Friday and sometimes Saturday my days are spent teaching to kids on very different levels what they need to learn to succeed. I spend a few hours each week running my son to his extra curriculum activities and play dates. I also have to squeeze into this already full schedule, cleaning the house, laundery, my sewing for my business, doctors visits, and food shopping. This makes me a very busy bee. Do I sometimes wish I could send them off to school and have my days to myself? yeah, for a second. I even ask my son every now and then if he would like to try going "off to school" like the children in his neighborhood, he thinks about it and says, "No, I like learning here (pointing to the table)".  So here I am, I have a full schedule, no family really that "btothers" with me...just recently had a birthday and only my father remembered! and spent the past 6 years hearing about how Im the worse mother in the world for making decisions for my son that I feel God has layed on my heart, concious well thought out and well researched decisions that have proven to be WORKING because if any of you actually stepped foot in my house or spent more then an hour with my children a year would know that they are alright kids, and that they will be alright. I chose a hard path, becuase I am not doing with the norm is. Im following the path that God has chosen for me. SO does this make me SELFISH? If it does, maybe I need to look at the dictionary again for the correct meaning.
The next topic, Ive heard this one alot, "How will my children act out in the "readl world" if they havent been properly "taught" to behave in highschool settings.?" Well! This question always kind of boggles me. I went to a christian college. All of the kids on my hallway were relatively straight laced and I stuck with them because they were like me, non drinkers, non partiers, sweet God respecting folks. One of which I still keep in touch with today, ten years later. However, there were some girls and boys in that school that went to PRIVATE CHRISTIAN SCHOOLS and partied every nite! I could not beleive how much those kids could drink, and the foul mouths they had! I did not judge them, they shocked me, but I just hoped they were letting lose appropriately and prayed they didnt drive while in that state. Now lets take a glimpse at my life, I was raised in a way that left me mostly to my own devices. I went to public school, I spent 8th and 9th grade drinking vodka from first period to lunch. YEs, thats right. HARD LIQUOR! I was an unhappy camper who wasnt taught how to deal properly with my feelings and I had an older brother and a father who drank so if it worked for them....IT would work for me. Thankfully by the time i was actually old enough to LEGALLY be in a bar, I had changed my life. I found God. And I am thankful for that everyday. So yes, maybe some homeschoolers would let lose a little once in a college setting. Would it be becuase he or she was homeschooled? Absolutely not! It has to do with the way they are brought up, were they raised with positive parenting? You must want to make these assumptions to "warn me" becuase your heart is in the right place, but dont forget you are talking about my child here. Im am not the percet parent but I believe in positive gentle parenting and maybe my kids might slip up a bit in the "real world" but as a human being, we all arent perfect, homeschooled or not, this world we live in is full of temptations and id like you to let me know when YOU havent fallen for one here or there. I know I have.
I will end my rant here, having said whats on my heart. I only ask that poeple stop and think about things before they speak to another mother. And please stop assuming I chose things becuase of whatever reason that comes to YOUR head. I dont assume you chose things to hurt your kids, dont assume im irresponsible for chosing my decisions. 01 02 03
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