Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Sibling Love

When I was growing up I can never remember a time where my brother and I played together. When he wasnt kicking me out of his room for wanting to play GI Joe with him, or hitting me for messing up his plans. One of my earliest memories is us playing hide and seek with the nieghborhood children and he calling me an "a--hole" becuase I accidently gave up his hiding spot and made him lose. I only wanted to hide with him. As I grew up and made friends with others, I found it completely shocking that other siblings got along, I coudnt figure out what I had done wrong to make my brother hate me so. But it always weighed on my heart. I must have been a bad sister from the start, before I could even remember. I, apparently, had ruined my brothers life as a baby, and though I had no recolection of it, it had happened.
Years later when I got married and started havng children, ( I always knew from an early age that I wanted a clean "dozen" thought that number has went down considerably after my first labor) I always worried in the back of my mind, if my children would hate one another from the start. What if they didnt get along? Since I was too young to understand what went wrong between my brother and I, How could I stop my children from enduring the same fate. HOW on EARTH would I get them to love one another?
As I was pregnat with my second child, a girl, the fear in my heart grew from a quiet ember to a big heavy hot rock in my chest. Ofcourse it didnt help that everyone was telling me how jealous Talon would be, how I should never leave him alone with her for fear he might take his jealousy out on her by hitting her punching her, and even as I was on my way to pick him up from a friends house hed been staying at while I was in the hospital having her, was told "Oh this is going to be REALLY bad, hes going to have a hard time adjusting and be REALLY jealous, GOOD LUCK WITH HIM!"  As if they were telling me I should bring her back to the hospital and go on living life with just him. Now Im sure they didnt mean that, but in my nervous mind I thought  " They havent even met yet and its already started." Ive ruined my sons life, and he surely will hate her, the way my brother hated me. However, we pulled up in front of their house, and I i walked over to my son with a great big hug and a kiss, thanked my friends and helped him into his car seat, which was installed right next to his sleeping new baby sister. He looked at her with the biggest smile on his face and sayed with such awe and admiration " Shes absolutely beautiful!" She opened her eyes, looked at him, and smiled. For as long as her sleepy eyes could stay open she looked and studied his face as if asking "where have you been? I have been looking for you!" The days after we came home, he kissed her, squeezed her, loved on her, bugged and bugged me to hold her, layed next to her while she nursed and insisted he do everything for her. I still had not let my guard down, I was still waiting for the jealousy to set in. As the first year went by and she became big enough to sit up and play with toys, he was extactic to play along side with her. She was just as happy to be big enough to play with him! She did all she could to keep up with him, and he was delighted to be able to teach this new little being everything he knew. Now two years later, there have been some minor arguments, some accidental "ow! Talon hurt me!" and vice versa, but Ive never seen to kids dote and love eachother so much. It finally dawned on me at one point between these two years that I didnt have to do one little thing to make these two sibligs love eachother, they just did. There was tiny twinges of jealousy here and there from Talon but he talked to me about it, we worked it out and things moved on as normal. So now as I am pregnat with my third, whether it be a girl or a boy and poeple already are saying "Oh how is your super attached to the hip daughter going to share you with a new baby"  I just smile and say "oh no worries, itll work out." Becuase I know that though things might be a tough adjustment for all of us, the bottem line is, the love is as instant for them, as it is for me...and as long as there is love, everything else just works out. <3 01 02 03
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